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Barney in the Rubble

Portland attorney Barney Culgoose was found dead on Nye Beach Saturday, April 24 at 1:45 p.m.  Initial reports indicate that the cause of death was a broken neck after falling off of a cliff.

"Well, the body was at the bottom of a 200-foot cliff so we are thinking that's maybe what he falled off of," said investigator  "Dubba"  Dan Chit.  "Landed there in that big  ol' pile a' rubble."

Culgoose was last seen running, shotgun in hand, toward  Birdie Whoterlick's oceanfront property. Several bystanders report that the lawyer yelled "Bully! Bully!" over and over as he ran.

Ex-pro wrestling star "Bulldog" Matson was taken into custody by police after bystanders noted that he and his two Chihuahuas were  running  toward Culgoose as the lawyer ran to his death.  Eye witnesses report that they saw no other bully, street tough or ruffian in the vicinity.  

"Bulldog was nowhere near Mr. Culgoose. He was blocks away, going for his morning jog."  said Miss Prissy, Matson's manager and spokesperson. "Do you think Barney was running from the Chihuahuas?  Please, that is so Hound of the Baskervilles."

Investigators obtained a search warrant  for the Whoterlick property and uncovered valuable clues that may help resolve the mystery surrounding the lawyer's death.  A large piece of cardboard, laid out flat, and a pink "We are the World" limited edition boom box were found directly above the body of the deceased. It contained a cassette tape of popular street dance music.  Was Barney broken from breakin'?

The list of possible suspects is long.  "Really," said Dubba , "Everyone on the planet had a motive--I mean the guy was a lawyer."  So far, six suspects have been brought in for questioning:

"Bulldog" Matson-- An ex-pro wrestler
Miss Prissy--Bulldog's feisty manager
Ruby Throat-- The teenage break dancer
Frank Collin--The quirky bird-watcher
Birdie Whoterlick--The town's eccentric cat lady
Oliver Domdell--Birdie's son and an avid admirer of Ruby